Monday, 21 March 2016

Happy start of a new week everybody!!  I thought I would start the week with a light hearted post!
The husband gets up really early on a Saturday and goes to play golf and usually I'm still asleep so we don't really interact until he gets home. Last week however, I woke up when he was getting ready to leave and we spoke for a bit and then he was gone- but he hadn't said bye to me. And I was just lying in bed thinking how rude that is and how could he just leave? I looked across the bed and his phone was still there so I made the decision to wait 10minutes before I decided what to do next. He came back up and I told him I thought he had left and he laughed and then added "so I guess I have hate mail on my phone then" and I was laughing  along and then I stopped and thought about it and he was so right. If I hadn't seen his phone I probably would've sent him a text to say how rude he was - as is done.

That little exchange got me thinking about people I've spoken to along the way and how they've had more or less some sort of situation and how they had reacted the same. Which led me to think that there is definitely  a sequence of events that occurs that lead you to crazy. The craziest part being that, the sequence is the same for everyone! Honestly I'm not entirely sure why but the road to coming across as an insecure, needy and downright crazy person is the same for just about everyone. I don't care who you are,we are all programmed the same when it comes to this. I find it really amusing but let's see if you can identify with the process

#1 Initial call/text

So this is often a genuine call/text. A simple "how are you" or "can you bring home some milk"- you know really plan vanilla stuff. The annoyance of course, being that the other person doesn't respond or pick up because sometimes your partner's life doesn't evolve around your relationship or you (what the hell is that about?)

#2 The followup call/text

This is usually a few hours (minutes- totally depends on the circumstances) later and it's the "did you see my call/text" reminder but it's a little aggressive. Not too aggressive because then you'll just look unstable, so it's the right balance between I'm losing my shxt and I'm okay with you not replying me.

#3 Conspiracy theories

So this is the stage where you've been waiting for contact for far longer than you think is reasonable and versus just hung on about your life the what if scenarios start playing through your mind. What if they're ignoring me on purpose? What if they've broken up with me but haven't told me? It really only takes 10 minutes to get to X's house and then another 5 to drive to the park- suppose they play football for another 45 minutes that's an hour. It's been 3 hours, so what have they been doing with the other 2 hours? OMG what if he/she just left here and realized that they don't love me? And by the end of the craziness you've pretty much come up with what seems to be the best (albeit most outrageous) explanation for why they haven't responded to your multiple texts and calls. Of this whole process, I think this stage is really the unhinging! I feel like if people skipped past this stage, a lot of issues in relationships would be solved but then where would the fun be in that?

#4 Contact

Finally you get a call back or a text but by this point you are so far gone you don't care that they've been MIA because they had to help an old lady whose cat was in a tree! You're so annoyed that they couldn't mind their own business and let the old lady get her own cat out the damn tree herself. Oh, she had a slight limb- still could've got the cat herself. At this stage you're just irrational and no excuse can be good enough- especially because you already know that's not what really happened (see conspiracy theories). Deep down you want to just talk because you're secretly happy they're alive and still care (see conspiracy theories) but then you can't give up that easily so you resort to the one word answers. I know that 

#5 Resolution

Eventually you have to admit to yourself that you're being irrational and really it might be that there was an old lady with a cat in a tree and you are still indeed in a relationship. You could apologise for overreacting but that would also be admitting that you lost the plot and who wants to do that? So instead, life as goes on as  normal and you just act like you've forgiven them instead. Simples. 

And that dear friends is your user guide to being crazy(not that anyone needs it)! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this post and if you identified with  the stages!

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